The first step is to count up the hours that your child is currently sleeping. This might be trickier than you think.

Here are three methods you can use:

Counting Method:

Each morning, note your child’s wake-up time.

Each evening, note your child’s fall-asleep time.

Each afternoon, note the time spent napping.

Count up all of the hours that your child sleeps for each 24 hours. Do this for seven days and average your numbers.

Estimation Method: Reflect on how your child slept for the past three nights or the past week. Try to come up with an ‘average’ number of hours of sleep per 24 hours that your child needs.

Guessing method. Use the information below, and choose the number that matches your child's needs.

The amount of sleep needed varies by age. Here’s a general guide:

• Infants: 14 to 16 hours

• Toddlers: 12 to 14 hours

• Preschool-aged children: 11 to 13 hours

• School-aged children: 10 to 11 hours

• Older school-aged children: 9 to 10 hours

If you’re unsure, consult your child’s pediatrician.

Understand Sleep-Onset Associations

Sleep-onset associations are items and rituals that signal to the brain that it’s time to fall asleep. Your child needs to choose these associations to aid in falling asleep.

Choose a Sleep-Onset Item

Your child should select a toy, blanket, pillow, or other item. This item will serve as a cue that it’s time for sleep.

Establish a Bedtime Ritual

In addition to the sleep-onset item, your child should also establish a bedtime ritual. This could include a short conversation with you, a prayer, or some reading. These steps are effective for both young children and older children with developmental delays.

Create the Right Environment

The environment plays a crucial role in sleep. The lighting should be soft, dim, or dark, and the temperature should be cool.

Considerations for Older Children

Older children who are developmentally more advanced can incorporate some reading time or a conversation with you into their bedtime routine.

Setting Boundaries for the Bedtime Routine

The bedtime routine should not include any screen time, snack, or drink. Food and screen time are only allowed earlier in the evening. The entire routine should take approximately 10 minutes.

Establish a Consistent Wake-Up Time

Start with a consistent wake-up time. Wake your child or adolescent up at the same time each morning. This is the best strategy for all children and youth, regardless of age.

The Importance of Consistency

During the training period, it’s best to keep things very consistent. Sleeping in makes it harder for your child’s brain to master good sleeping habits.

The Role of Naps

Keep naps short, e.g. less than 1 or 2 hours. Don’t allow napping unless it’s part of the schedule. If your child does not sleep well during the night, do not allow extra sleep during the day. Special note: Most children 5 years or older do not need a nap

Gradual Reduction of Daytime Sleep

If your child does a lot of daytime sleeping, you may need to reduce the daytime sleeping gradually.

Practical Examples

Reducing or Eliminating the Nap

If your child is young and needs a nap, try to reduce the length of the nap gradually. Get it down to 1 hour, maybe 2. Keep the total time consistent. This means you might need to wake your child up if they are sleeping more than they're supposed to. Don't worry- Your child will make up for the reduced nap by sleeping longer at night time.

Eliminate Your Teenager’s Daytime Sleeping

Daytime sleep should be reduced and then eliminated. Be sure that your teenager’s teaching staff know that sleeping during the day is not allowed.

Adjust the Timing of Bedtime

Once you have fixed the wake-up time for a few days, you might need to change the timing for bedtime.

Using Sleep Deprivation to Speed Up Adaptation

Start the bedtime routine a bit too late. After a few days, your child will want to go to bed earlier. The more tired they are, the faster they fall asleep.

Co-Sleeping: Co-sleeping is common and usually not a problem for children. However, children who co-sleep often rely on a co-sleeper as a sleep-onset association. They need a co-sleeper to fall asleep, and also to stay asleep. This habit can be an issue if parents prefer to sleep separately.

Co-Sleeping with Parents: Children who need to sleep with their parents are using them as a sleep-onset association. They can learn to use other sleep-onset associations and not rely on their parents.

Parents’ Preference: Most parents prefer to sleep separately from their children for better rest. Children can be taught to sleep independently at any age, ideally before the age of eight.

Preparation for Independent Sleeping: Teaching a child to sleep independently requires preparation and discussion with your child- and with your child's other parent(s). Expect some resistance, lost sleep, and distress from the child.

Independent Sleeping: Children who co-sleep are often resistant about sleeping independently. Both the child and parent will lose sleep initially, but each night brings improvement.

Training Methods:

Quick method: Training can be done quickly by removing all support at once. Your child's co-sleeper stops lying with your child, from one day to the next.

Slow method. Training can also occur slowly, by gradually reducing the co-sleeper's presence and interaction. Your child's co-sleeper first stops lying with your child, and instead sits next to your child. Then, they place their seat a few feet away from your child's bed. Then, they sit near the door of your child's bedroom. After that, they disappear from view all together- even if they maintain some verbal contact. Only at the end does all physical and verbal contact stop.

Regardless of the method, success is measured by the child’s ability to fall asleep independently.

Confidence and Success: Have confidence in your skills as a teacher and in your child’s success as a learner. In this case, your child's fussing and crying might feel like a failure. Actually, it's part of the process of learning. Each time your child eventually settles down (it could take an hour- or much longer) celebrate the fact that they calmed themselves down. Celebrate the fact that they fell asleep- even if it took a long time. Each day, you'll notice that the fussing and crying time gets shorter, and that they actually are capable of falling asleep.

Keep the schedule consistent. In all of the above situations, keep the schedule rigid. Just because your child took so long to fall asleep dow not mean that they can sleep in longer the next day. It also does not mean that they can have a nap! Your child will probably be very tired the next evening. That will make it so much easier to keep doing the training.

Expect improvement in 3 to 5 nights.

Recognize learning successes and convey a sense of success to your child. If you feel insecure, and the whole experience is just too stressful, wait until a later date. Try the process again over winter Break or summer vacation, or another time when you can dedicate your time and energy to teaching.

Understanding the Role of Medication

Pre-Medication Considerations

Before considering medication to aid sleep, it’s important to understand your child’s current sleeping habits. This includes knowing how many hours your child sleeps, where they sleep, and their sleep-onset associations.

The Need for Medication

Children do sleep. If you observe carefully, you’ll find that your child is likely sleeping successfully most nights. Therefore, medication may not be necessary.

Training Good Sleep Habits

The Training Process

Before considering medication, encourage your child to be a good sleeper, even if it means co-sleeping with you for a while longer.

The Role of Medical Conditions

At times, a medical condition may prevent your child from sleeping properly. In such cases, consult with your child’s pediatrician.

Medication Management

When Your Child is Already on Medication

If your child is already taking medication for sleep, create a plan to remove the medication, especially if your child is now sleeping successfully.

Tapering Off Medication

Once your child (and you) are both sleeping well, you can gradually taper the medication to a lower dose and then remove it.

Managing Medication Withdrawal

When a medication is removed, it’s common to hit a rough patch. Your child’s sleep can get disrupted as the medication is removed. Follow the steps described in the parent guide chapter to manage this transition.